While reading through on-hold messages from tumultuous 2008 until the perilous present I realized how inefficient it is that our months are not in alphabetical order. To make them list appropriately you must save your files as 1January, 2February, etc or simply allow them to run amuck in a most unsavory fashion.
To thwart this terrible travesty I have devised a new calendar. BEHOLD:
Anuary
Bebruary
Carch
Dapril
Emay
Fune
Guly
Haughust
Iptember
Joctober
Kovember
Lecember
A masterpiece! Now there is no need to add number and your files will still appear in chronological order. You're welcome.
Also, today I wore a shirt nearly identical to Mark, who is also a tall, thin, white guy with glasses. We looked like twins. Someone mentioned that they did not get the memo that we were all supposed to dress alike. The retort that was offered went something like: "That's because it only got sent out to white guys with glasses." Bryan and Malo (our graphic designers) wanted to take a picture, but Mark did not trust them not to photoshop it something fierce so he declined.
And thus I was forced to wait until Mark was comparing two versions of a banner. I posed in a mirror image while Malo took a picture with his phone.
Hobby Hoedown: I finished reading Dance With Dragons by George RR Martin (GRRM) on Saturday. 1100 pages of awesome and I still hate GRRM with a fiery burning passion for leaving damn near EVERY character with a cliffhanger. I only hope I don't have to wait another 6 years for Winds of Winter to come out. Winter better be coming soon, dammit! Now that I'm done with that I'm finally going to finish reading Fight Club, which I bought over a year ago. So far it does not disappoint; it is SUPER weird.
Over on my LiveJournal I am working on a choose your own adventure story about family members vying for power after their king/father/grandfather dies. I have a good time killing off characters since they'll still be alive if I go back and work on a different path in the choose your own adventure.
Tonight I'm going lap swimming because the weather sucks and I don't want to break my ankle trying to play tennis on a wet court. My hope is that there will be no old men in flesh colored Speedos. *fingers crossed*
This weekend I started a game of Sim City 3000 for funzies. I take all the opportunities that give you money but cause pollution and crime. I have a toxic waste factory, casino, maximum security prison, and something called a "gigamall." My sims bitch and moan constantly, but they have the world's best education, police, and health care available!
Story Time: The "Watch Out For Bees!" Story.
In my final year of college I decided to check out a projector from the library and set it up in my dorm room so I could play giant Super Nintendo on my wall. While playing Zelda: A Link to the Past (one of the best games of all time), I was using the dash boots to run into trees and collect the money that sometimes falls out. For those of you who do not know, when you do this there is a chance that bees will emerge instead of Rupees. Every time this happened I would shout "'ey boy! Watch out for BEES!" I considered this to be highly hilarious and said it often.
That same week my drinking buddies and I were frequenting our usual haunt, Earl's on the Ave in the UDistrict. We were there for a good long while and I got well and truly toasted (which will not surprise anyone who has actually been to Earl's). As we made our way home we decided that it would be a marvelous idea to invite every single person we knew over to my room to bust out the Everclear that we had purchased in Oregon the month before. Such was our drunken brilliance. Kids, I don't recommend trying this at home.
Approximately 90% of Hansee Hall was in my room at one point or another that night and later that year I "met" several people who I had no recollection of who had been in my room drinking Everclear with us. When it came time to call it a night my drinking buddies prepared to leave, but all these new people were worried that I needed a babysitter. One of my drinking buddies tells them, "No, don't worry about it. He's the world's most compliant drunk! Watch this, hey Justin, yell at those guys."
There were two guys stumbling back from a frat party walking past my window. I stood up on my bed and shouted down at them as loud as I could, "'ey boy! Watch out for bees!"
The would-be frat boys look around, completely confused. They then shout back, "Dude, brah, dere's no bees!"
I then went to sleep and woke up exceptionally hung over. This little adventure has made any and all jokes about bees to be unduly funny to me, observe: Scenes From a Multiverse
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